In the last week, you have spent between 8 and 12 hours a day at one coffee shop or another, and today will likely be no different. You are pretty sure that Starbucks has a stranglehold on your soul that will not be easily broken and you have had a “grande single pump white mocha” for breakfast 6 times in the past 7 days, an Odwalla “C-Monster” smoothie for brunch 7 times, and either an “grande iced mocha” or two slices of pepperoni pizza from Blondie’s for lunch each of those days. You’ve connected to the internet from 5 different Starbucks cafes, a laundromat-cum-cafe-cum-bar named Brainwash and the Apple display at CompUSA, but there is a tingle in your soul for the impending arrival of your internet connection on Monday or Wednesday.
You were pleased this morning when you decided to check your stats and noticed that there were about 50 search result referrers for the word “motherfucker” (I’m currently 8th on the list) and decided that being the top hits for ‘andy “bad motherfucker” smith‘ was worth a little celebration so you bought yourself and your roommate some brown monk robes off of eBay. At that point, you were forced to accept that you were not only a bad motherfucker but also the coolest roommate alive with the possible exception of that lesbian porn chick who was organizing some sort of orgy in the Castro for the coming weekend.
Tunneling comes easy to you now, you have scripts in place to connect to the four servers that allow you to interact with the internet without giving a show to any prying eyes. You are a VPN away from having a completely encrypted mobile internet workstation. You are also a geek.
But a geek who is wearing cool shoes.